Wednesday, October 28, 2009


...dusting off this old chestnut I drew back when Billy Mays was still kicking and selling us Mighty Putty. I do miss the big lug, and the show Pitchmen which was actually decent, as far as that behind the scene reality crap goes.
Well, if you are in a pinch this Halloween why not be the guy that does the topically-in-bad-taste-but-a-little-late-to-the-joke costume of a dead celeb from the past year? Heath Ledger jokers excluded, of course.
Go grab a blue button up from the thrift store, some tan slacks, brush your teeth until they are as white and radiant as this screen, practice your 'thumbs up' as well as your outside voice. Keep announcing your name, and that you are 'here'. Bring a silly product from home. Anything will do as long as you give it a powerful name. A simple clotheshanger can easily become a 'WARDROBE WIZARD!'
Then cut yourself one of these out of cardboard and break out the blackest black paint that you can black..I mean, paint.

If ambient light in the room is actually drawn into the gravitational pull of the blackness, even better.


  1. This Halloween, I saw a woman wearing short-shorts and a blue button up blouse, tied Daisy Duke style. She had a tub of oxyclean slung over her shoulder like a purse, and she sported the Billy Mays facial hair and do. She told me that she was the "sexy" Billy Mays. Weird, but funny all the same.

  2. women's halloween costumes - they can get away with ANYTHING and as long as they sexify it, it's still somehow a halloween costume. not fair.